As if all my old broken vows weren't
Already flagstones on my road to hell
I'm maintaining, I tell myself
This is just a rebuilding year
But I missed the draft and I'm knocked on my ass
Just contemplating the new season
Life is just a game we play
It's just a game and I don't have to play
Not if I don't want to
And the line looks mean and the field looks muddy
But it's silly, all these measurements
To tell me where the ball is at
I know how to carry a ball
I can see the goalposts from here
They're tall and far away but I can see them
And I know I need plenty of hydration
But if I'm not running to catch a pass
Or slugging it out on the defensive line
I can get by with less
The bench is cool and comfortable
And I can see well enough where I am
The players with their face guards
Like masks in a chorus, my teammates,
And they're singing, play, play
Because they know me and they want me in the game
But I ran a play or two before
And I got knocked around pretty bad
They tell me to shake it off, and I say, no
I say no, the way I am, it got me here
To where I am today.
Where I am today
Is a two-room apartment with mold on the walls
And a car that works just well enough
To get me to my dead-end job
To earn money to pay for auto repair.
What will I pass on to members of my team,
My brothers, fresh-faced rookies, and coaches
Who stuck with me always when I was down
What will I tell them about my dreams
Look where dreams get you, I'll say.
But I'm already saying it. My failure to play
Means I'm already telling my team to give up.
Hell is on the horizon and I
Can see the smoke rising, blotting out
My view of the end zone. I need to rise up
Above the smoke and the mud and the noise
I need to get away from the commentators
Second-guessing my every strategy
I need to get this game straight in my head
Because if I don't, I might as well
Sit back down and nurse my injuries
Maybe the water boy will listen
As I tell him how it used to be
Before the smoke swallowed up the game
And how hurting my leg ended my career.
I don't want to be an old athlete.
I'd rather be young, but I'm too old now
But I can still be an athlete. Better than rotting
My life out on the bench.
I need to reach the goal.
And I mean to, I mean to.
